Unsugar Coated Motherhood

Are Women Better Parents Than Men?

“Are women better parents than men?” is a loaded, complex question

I feel that as long as both parents are singing from the same hymn sheet each is capable of achieving as much as the other. I know this isn’t always the way it is, and have several friends going through hard times because they do and say one thing and hubby undermines them by saying and doing the opposite. I personally feel that parental cohesion is the most important thing for the family unit. We can wax lyrical about a mother’s love being the main sustenance a child needs but the reality is very different to the romantic idea.

Team work is everything when raising kids

I come from a single parent background. My mother had me at 18, then two more kids with a different man to my father by the time she was 25. She made lots of mistakes throughout our childhood, which we paid for dearly. For example allowing her friend’s teenage son to live with us because he was fighting with his mother. Lets just say he abused his position within our household, and at nine years old I was no longer very innocent. We moved house over a dozen times because she would amass debts and run away from them. You can imagine what going to eight different schools does to a child’s education and self-confidence. My mother naively thought that the strength of her love would be enough to ensure that we grew up happy but she failed us on so many levels.

My hubby and I muddle through in a sleep-deprived haze most days. Sometimes it feels like we are so distant from each other even if we’re sitting in the same room. In my darkest hours I have contemplated what will happen if we don’t make it through these early years. If the strain of it all takes its toll on our marriage to the point of no return. Even in that instance though, I can put my hand on my heart and say I know he would do just as good a job as I could.

Children need so much more than a mother’s love. They need guidance and support. They need to be nurtured and protected from harm. They need boundaries and to be taught right from wrong. Ultimately either parent is capable of giving it to them, and in an ideal world two heads are surely better than one? Why divide the sides? As far as I’m concerned as long as we are all doing our very best, we are all as good as each other.

 

mummytries

Full time wife and mummy to three, home educator, blogger, wannabee chef and published author. Follow me on my journey through life...

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22 Comments

  1. Lovely! You have been through so much (I’ve said that before I think.) Society puts a lot of pressure on mothers and it’s sad because it makes mothering harder and doesn’t give fathers the credit they deserve for the things they do x

  2. Totally agree that parental cohesion is vital – and I often wonder how on earth we manage to achieve it whilst struggling through that sleep deprived haze! We do though, most of the time, and I have no doubt that both Leigh and I are just as vital as parents to Arthur. We do different things, and would both struggle on our own, but together we make a great team! xx

  3. I definitely think it helps. Our 5yo has started pushing the boundaries lately and trying her luck, but I don’t think it’ll take her long to realise that she’s wasting her time as she will always get the same answer from both her parents xx

  4. I don’t think that women make better parents than men… we’re just different in how we approach parenting! We always tried to sing from the same hymn sheet here too, and our daughters soon learnt that it was impossible to play one parent off against the other.
    A thought-provoking post x

  5. This is such a thought-provoking subject. I think women and men should compliment and support each other. It is not down to the gender in my eyes, it is down to the individual and their attitude 🙂 Thank you for linking to PoCoLo 🙂 x

  6. Ohhh interesting topic! I think that men and women are both the same. In my household we do parent very differently but we both bring qualities to our children that are needed. Lovely post x

  7. I didn’t know we experienced same thing. I wont expound about it but thanks for an honest post. #pocolo

  8. I think you’re absolutely right, parents are a team, working together. Each bring their own strengths and together we are stronger. Like you, I know my husband could do just as good a job as me. Thanks so much for linking to #ThePrompt x

  9. You summed it up perfectly, as you always do. Really thought-provoking and has stirred some emotions in me! My husband and I struggled through the first year, through various reasons we had to sell our house and move back to my parents and it was tough and at times didn’t think our marriage would survive. But that was 2 years ago, we’ve moved on, started again and we’ve really pulled together, both of us with different strengths, but together a great team. xxx

  10. “As far as I’m concerned as long as we are all doing our very best, we are all as good as each other.”

    YES!!! That is it in a complete nutshell. I am so sorry for your childhood lovely. but I love that you are always learning from it and growing from it. You’re such an inspiration of strength xxx

  11. I totally agree My husband and I are always united where our kids are concerned, as I do think that’s key. And yes, love is so important, but as are the other things you’ve mentioned there. Great post x Thanks for sharing with #WotW

  12. It is lovely to hear that you have such a positive outlook, even though your own experiences were difficult. I agree completely with your conclusion. #theprompt

  13. So interesting to read, thank you for sharing. I agree with you though, either parent can do it as well as each other – i just waste time worrying that he can’t

  14. Should have added I am popping over from #PoCoLo!

  15. I totally agree, and as someone else says dads bring something different. But I fervently believe that we shouldn’t get caught up in a politically correct blur of “equality” seeking and forget that biologically and anthropologically, women are intended to be the main caregiver in a child’s early years. To pretend otherwise does a HUGE disservice to children. Later on, I think it’s more balanced but those who suggest men can make an equivalent contribution in a baby’s early months are hiding from reality.

  16. Seems to be quite a consensus that mums and dads are equally as good as parents. As a stay at home dad I agree, neither men nor women make better parents and we’re all equally capable of being wonderful with our kids or bad parents. Gender doesn’t come into it. #thePrompt

  17. I totally agree. Hubby and I agree on the principles of how we want to bring up our kids and we are both good at different things, so working together is definitely the best option for us.

  18. I agree, as long as everyone is trying their very best, that should be good enough x

  19. I find that we bring different experiences. and skills. My husband is much better at playing than me.

  20. I really think we are all going to be coming to the same conclusion this week! Why make it into a competition right? X #theprompt

  21. A very balanced and thought-provoking response to the question. I agree that we are better parents when we work together and that as long as we are all trying to do our best, we are doing the right thing for our children.

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