Although I originally took some pointers on how to make a relationship work from Jerry Hall, I think it’s safe to say that you need more than sex, drugs and rock & roll to make a marriage last the distance. Sure those things can be fun, but I feel other ingredients are required to make it long term. Namely compassion, kindness, patience and above all else the ability to communicate.
Apparently we only truly learn anything through failing miserably first. I know that I have learnt my biggest lessons in life through making mistakes, as well as watching the mistakes of others and trying to ensure I don’t end up in the same boat myself. From what I can gather, lack of communication is where most fledgling couples go wrong.
I have no idea how hubby and I would get through the trials and tribulations of parenthood if we were not a cohesive team. If our 4yo knew she could get mummy to agree to the thing daddy just said no to, then she would play us both daily, and win every time. I know for sure it would be a disaster if one of us worked all the hours there are and we never got to spend any quality family time together. If we didn’t talk about our problems, I know for a fact they would build up to the point of hatred and resentment and it would all end in tears.
Being caught up in the mundane, sleep deprived haze of child-rearing, it can be tricky to see the wood for the trees. However, I firmly believe you can get through anything life throws your way as a family if you are a rock solid team. My marriage wasn’t built on a huge fancy wedding, false hopes and empty promises. We had been together for five years first and it was built on a foundation of true love. Of adventures and stories to tell the grand children one day. Of failing miserably first and knowing what we actually wanted out of life before being joined in matrimony, and (more importantly!) bringing our babies into the world.
Here we are now, ten years after meeting and five years of marriage later. We’ve had our ups and downs, and many of them, but we always work through our troubles together. As a team. Because if anything’s going to work, it’s teamwork.