family estrangement

On Family Estrangement/In Defence of Meghan Markle

I know more than most that family estrangement never occurs without very good reason.  In the early days of my own family estrangement back in 2005, I grieved long and hard for what had been and would never be Cutting ties with mother and the (half) siblings I grew up with had been a long time coming. There was a lot of bad blood. Too many lies had been told. Too much drama brought to my doorstep. Too many situations which had left me broken hearted. Although highly dysfunctional, my family are not evil people, which made walking away from …

What Rock Bottom Feels Like and Three Steps to Get You Back on Track

Ten years ago, pretty much to the day, I woke up in a Reykjavik hotel bed, drenched in a cold sweat. I had been there on an all expenses paid work jolly up, and had as per usual got myself into a very messy mess. I had the familiar heart sinking feeling that shit had gone down the night before, but couldn’t recall the details. It took me some time to gather the momentum to get myself out of bed. I needed the loo but didn’t make it, and instead ended up on the bathroom floor retching. I’ve often wondered if …

Motherhood without a Mum

Motherhood is a complex subject for people like me. Mother’s Day is always a mixed bag of emotions.  In the early days of my estrangement from my mother many people told me that I’d change my mind once I had children of my own. As if the decision to cut ties with her and the rest of my family was made so lightly it would all just get swept under the carpet and forgotten about the second I was pregnant. As if it had been nothing more than a minor spat that could be rectified by having a group hug and …