autism awareness day 2019
Mental Health

Setting A Good Example

I came across this interesting blog post recently about positive parenting, and it got me thinking about my own behaviour around my children. Above all else, I would like my cherubs to have a happy view of their childhood when they are all grown up and have flown the nest. Kids learn by example and pick up positive and negative personality traits from the people in their lives that have the most influence on them. As ours don’t spend enough time with other people to pick up habits, this reponsibility falls directly to hubby and me.

We all have strengths and weaknesses so I’ve decided to do a little personality analysis. It’s important to give ourselves the credit we deserve, so firstly I’ve listed what I consider to be my most positive attributes. Traits that help me get through life with a smile on my face. Along with the good stuff I’ve also listed some of my weakest areas, things that I know I need to improve upon. Ultimately I guess I would like to see the good refelcted in my offspring, and the bad not! I hope you’ll join me in this little exercise 😉

The good bits…
– I’m caring and compassionate and would do anything for my nearest & dearest. I’m also a tactile person, unafraid of giving hugs or saying I love you.

– It takes a lot to shock or offend me. I have thick skin and learnt a long time ago not to worry too much about what others think of me. I find this even more important now I’m a mum. It’s a tough enough job and to go through it thinking everyone was judging my every move would be exhausting.

– I don’t heap too much pressure onto my shoulders.

– when someone asks for my advice or opinion I’m completely honest, and will never just say something because it’s what the other person wants to hear.

– when I trust my gut instincts they rarely let me down.

– I’m very organised. Having worked in admin jobs since I was 18 you’d hope so too!

– I love cooking and teaching my little ones about food. My 4yo already knows her kale from her spinach, eats 85% dark chocolate and regularly helps me out in the kitchen. I hope that having a good understanding of food from a young age will mean that eating well becomes second nature to them.

– I am able to say NO! Might sound silly but it hasn’t always been the case. I used to over commit something rotten to the detriment of everyone involved.

– I am pragmatic when things aren’t going so well. I used to be exceptionally impatient and want everything yesterday, but have learnt that all good things come to those who wait.

– I feel that I have achieved the coveted ‘perfect work/life balance’. This enables me to spend lots of time with the kids, as well as work part time in a job I enjoy. Each of these factors are very important to me, and subsequently I don’t feel any stress towards my working/non-working situation.

The not so good bits…
– I’m useless when it comes to the crafty stuff. Seriously laughable. The art work my 21mo comes home with from nursery is far better than what I can knock up!

– I can be guilty of finishing hubby’s sentences, and not in an endearing way. Poor guy will start talking and I jump in halfway through. I know how much it irritates him, and it should have become a thing of the past by now.

– I’m not the best at asking for help, and will struggle on like the little red hen. I really am my own worst enemy on this one.

– I can think the worst of people I don’t know well. I will question their motives rather than just believe they are doing something nice out of the kindness of their heart. Life has made me a tad cynical, I guess.

– I have terrible skin (my main symptom of PCOS) which I have moaned about in front of the girls. 4yo already talks about ‘mummys spots’ which isn’t cool, in the same way that saying you are fat in front of your 4yo isn’t.

– I swear… a lot… Obviously not in front of my girls or other people’s kids, but I’d rather not at all. The expletives just flow too easily from my mouth, and truth be told I enjoy saying the f word far more than I should at my age!

So there you are – some good, some bad, nothing downright ugly I hope! What are your best and worse bits? I’d love to hear one of each in the comments section below…

mummytries

Full time wife and mummy to three, home educator, blogger, wannabee chef and published author. Follow me on my journey through life...

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34 Comments

  1. A lot of this rings a bell, Renee, in particular the not asking for help bit. I’ve always been one to internalise how I think and act, so I like to reflect and devise my own course of action, and then if things go awry my first instinct is always to try to resolve things myself rather than ask for help.

    It’s something I’m trying to stop my kids from falling into the trap of. Toby in particular often reacts to situations in a similar way to me. He can seem to be pottering along just fine, whereas in fact his mind’s in turmoil and it’s only when it gets all too much that everything suddenly comes pouring out. I do exactly the same. People generally think I’m calm, but when I’m overwhelmed it’s like flicking a switch and I go into full-on panic mode …

  2. I think my best trait, that definitely my eldest has picked up on, is my ability to stay calm in certain situations. And my worse is impatience- my son has that trait for sure! x x x

  3. I love this, I think we all can relate to this, no one is perfect. I am by far not perfect and those that look like they have it all figured out and perfect isn’t just what it looks like. I am sure they struggle with various things just like the rest of us. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me! #sharewithme

  4. Thanks so much Hannah! Not being materialistic is a *brilliant* quality in my book… hopefully the organisation will come. As for the swearing, sounds like you’ve had a wake up call recently 😉

  5. hannah mum's days says:

    Oooh, good bits and bad bits?! You did really well to think through each of yours. This is so hard (not the bad bits, of course!)…

    OK so good would be that I’m not materialistic (actually it’s almost a bad point as I never buy anything I need!) so hopefully that will rub off in a good way that ‘things’ aren’t important!

    Bad…my worst feature, to me, is that I am insanely disorganised, I drive myself potty! But I’m also a swearer and was modified when an eff slipped out during a nice conversation with a friend yesterday (in front of both of our 2year olds) – reality check!

    Thanks for linking up to #AllAboutYou, this has really got me thinking! xxx

  6. Oooh, good bits and bad bits?! You did really well to think through each of yours. This is so hard (not the bad bits, of course!)…

    OK so good would be that I’m not materialistic (actually it’s almost a bad point as I never buy anything I need!) so hopefully that will rub off in a good way that ‘things’ aren’t important!

    Bad…my worst feature, to me, is that I am insanely disorganised, I drive myself potty! But I’m also a swearer and was modified when an eff slipped out during a nice conversation with a friend yesterday (in front of both of our 2year olds) – reality check!

    Thanks for linking up to #AllAboutYou, this has really got me thinking! xxx

  7. Great post. It does make you think about what you say in front of your kids and what impact that has directly. 🙂 #sharewithme

  8. Such an interesting concept and one I’m very aware of. I’m terribly hard on myself and can see the same thing in my daughter, but she has much more confidence in herself than I am which I think will help balance this out. My trouble is I could list my bad points much more easily than I could my good! My children on the overt hand are much easier to identify 🙂

  9. Thank you so much honey, what a lovely thoughtful comment. I’ve just ordered that book from Amazon xx

  10. You don’t seem very lazy at all hon, you’d put most people to shame with the amount you do xx

  11. I get a bit queasy at skin picking 🙁 Love your good qualities though hon 🙂

  12. What a great post, a good way of taking a look at yourself. Mine: Good – I am caring and compassionate. I always try to think of others before myself. Bad – I pick the skin around my finger nails, not a pretty sight. Unfortunately my boys seem to have picked up this horrible habit and I’m currently trying to get them to stop. 🙂

  13. Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) says:

    Fab post and I also try really hard to be a good example to Monkey though its not always easy! Picking out my own good and bad. Yikes, erm, good, I am understanding and empathetic and so am quote good with people. Bad, I can be really lazy!! Xx #allaboutyou

  14. Don’t think you’re judgemental by the way-was commenting on myself! x

  15. You sound like a lovely, caring lady and great mother.

    Don’t sweat the small stuff (easier said than done I know-I’m a born worrier)- not everyone enjoys creative pursuits or needs to, to be a good parent-I do believe creativity is a muscle though so the more you do, the better you become at it from art and crafts to filmmaking and beyond.

    … I also think when we’ve been let down or hurt, it’s easy to make assumptions or question motives and totally normal too; it takes time to re-educate ourselves but it’s so important to remember there are so many good eggs out there too! I read a book years ago which changed my life on the way I perceived people, character and why people do the things they do-stopped me being judgemental really The Art of Creative Writing by Lajos Egris-utterly amazing!

    You are a wonderful woman! #allaboutyou

  16. Thanks so much Orli. It’s good to be aware of raw nerves, as it can make us determined to find a solution for them to not be so raw anymore. Sounds like you’re doing a great job though, so don’t be too hard on yourself xx

  17. This is a tough post for me. Like in your case, we are the only adults in our childrens lives (except from teachers), so they look at us most of the time to teach and model behaviour.
    Some days I hope my kids pick up on the good things, some days I hope they don’t pick up on the bad ones, and some days I really am not sure what I am teaching them. I look at my parents, at my husband’s and I know we never learnt what they taught us, and how much we try to be different, and I so hope my kids will learn the “right” things from me… I guess it’s kind of a weird comment and not really an eloquent one, but you wrote a lovely post that touched a sore point within me.
    #PoCoLo

  18. Thanks my lovely x

  19. Thank you lovely x

  20. It’s a deal, lets do it!!

  21. judithkingston says:

    Wow, you and I should team up, between us we’d be the perfect parent/role model! All the things you listed as strong points made me think: oh dear, I am TERRIBLE at that – and all the things you listed as weaknesses are my strong points! So if you teach our kids to say no, and be compassionate, and trust their instincts and be honest, I’ll do the art work, teach them not to swear, to ask for help and to initially think the best of people. What do you say? 🙂

  22. I love that the negatives – or as I like to call them the ‘not so positives’ (sounds less bad that way!) make you who you are 🙂 You’re doing just fine. Thanks for linking to PoCoLo x

  23. ha ha – fab idea!

  24. i think your doing a fab job honey x

  25. Ahhhh thank you very much. I’m trying 🙂

  26. Thank you so much for the lovely comment x

  27. Thanks Sarah, cooking is the one thing I know I’m good at and really enjoy which is a blessing 🙂

  28. Just so difficult isn’t it! Maybe I should get a swear box? If nothing else it would probably pay for the Xmas shopping 🙂

  29. Thanks Cathie x

  30. What a great post to read and certainly agree with some of these – really enjoyed reading this #pocolo

  31. With you on the swearing bit… I really need to stop!!!easier said than done…

  32. sarahmo3w says:

    It sounds like you’re doing a really good job. I’m especially impressed by the kids eating and cooking – that’s the thing I’ve always failed on!

  33. This is so great. I know that I do things and say things in front of the kids that I shouldn’t but I think realising and recognising this is the first step towards implementing the kind of parenting you’re aiming for. #PoCoLo

  34. This post resonates with me. I try very hard to be a good roll model but I do make mistakes. However, when I see how loving the children are with each other I know that something is going the right way. You sound like a very positive role model for your children. 🙂

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