Hey Sad Mama,
I see you. I hear you. You are not alone, truly you aren’t.
They say it’s good to talk, that a problem shared is a problem halved. They say we need to get out of our heads and put our mental health problems out there for all to see. They say we should tell anybody who cares about our feelings. That we should put them on the table and be explicit.
Trouble is, the advice is getting a bit confusing. Unless we have people we can wholeheartedly rely on to help pull us out of our deep dark holes, we can shout and scream all we want. When our cries fall on deaf ears, it doesn’t really make a difference, does it?
Which is why I’m writing you this, Sad Mama
In the midst of the darkness it’s so very hard, to think positively and try and focus on all the little good bits throughout the day. To simply drown out the noise and ignore the chaos erupting around us. Multiple times daily, often hourly. To look past the negatives and see the tiny little glimmers of hope. To concentrate on that elusive pot of gold (which might or might not be) waiting at the end of the rainbow.
When before our eyes there is destruction. When all our best efforts go to waste and might as well have been chucked down the toilet. When we see the sadness from our hearts reflected in our children’s eyes.
‘Tough times’ doesn’t even come close to describing our daily existence, does it?
Then there is the fight. The constant fight for access to services and education and hell, a diagnosis in the first bloody place. The fight for others, our so-called friends and so-called family to believe our children are more than spoilt little brats.
The fight is endless. The fight is real.
So hear me now, Sad Mama
Get off your phone and out of your head. Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to. Put some music on, dance like no-one is watching and sing at the top of your voice. It’ll lift your spirits so high, you’ll feel like you’re about to start flying.
Then go and look in the mirror and repeat after me:
“I love my kids. I am doing my best. I am trying at all costs to give them a childhood they don’t spend a lifetime having to recover from.”
Life is a perpetual roller coaster, but even in the midst of desperation there are smiles to be found. Even when sleep is non existent and hope feels pointless.
Yes indeed, I’m writing this note just as much for myself as I have done for you. For I know, better than most that hard times pass. We will manage to summon the strength to carry on from somewhere. We always do.