If your child does not sleep through the night, you are going to love this article! Until recently I was lucky to get four or five broken hours shut eye…

Anyone who follows this blog will already know that severe sleep deprivation has been a major part of mine and hubby’s lives the entire time we’ve been parents. I’m not just talking about a few months here and there when the kids were tiny, I’m talking not having an entire week of unbroken sleep in over eight years. I’m sure most will agree that is a very long time.

Prior to our eldest daughter Polly’s autism diagnosis in 2015, we honestly thought we were just clueless parents, convinced that we must be missing a trick. We had to be going wrong somewhere along the line. Why did everyone else’s kid sleep through the night but not ours?

There’s no way to dress it up, right from birth Polly was a terrible sleeper. We didn’t know any different though, and took it on the chin in those early days. Things got really bad for us when I was heavily pregnant with our second daughter, Clara. After a hideous night of almost no sleep at all, I went to work and cried my eyes out, begging my old boss to let me start maternity leave a few weeks before I was due to.

sleep through the nightBy the time our new baby came along we were dreading the sleep side of things, and totally expected the worst

Fortunately for us we were blessed with an incredible sleeper. With no intervention from us whatsoever, Clara was getting a solid twelve hours by the time she was three months old. Polly however was up every night, seriously distressed, having monumental meltdowns. Her behaviour during the day was beyond challenging, and I look back on this time with immense sadness.

Everyone was miserable and it was definitely a turning point for us as a family. I went into frantic mama bear mode. Having suffered with gastro problems myself as a child, I became convinced that Polly’s issues were linked to allergies. Turns out I wasn’t entirely wrong, because just before her third birthday she was diagnosed with a food intolerance list as long as your arm. Cue two years of strict exclusion diets, as well as our third child.

The clean eating certainly helped, but it didn’t solve Polly’s sleep problems. By the time Freddy came along we’d read every website and parenting self-help book we could get our hands on. No matter what we tried nothing seemed to help Polly sleep through the night.

That is until our first autism assessment, where we heard two words that would change our lives: sleep hygiene

This term had never come up in anything we had previously read, but it instantly felt like we were being handed a gift. Sleep hygiene is essentially a series of bedtime (and for us nighttime) habits that need to be set in place and stuck to rigidly. It sounds so simple, but let’s face it, especially in hindsight, it always does.

The reason I feel qualified to share our experience now, is because we’ve been doing these things for more than two years and have ruled out any happy coincidences. I can put my hand on my heart and say that they definitely work.

Create good sleep hygiene, to help your child sleep through the night, using these steps

“Figure out a bedtime routine that suits everyone, and stick to it like glue.”

Our paediatrician Dr. K’s words now sound like a complete no-brainer. Trust me though, having sat on both sides of the fence, I know how hard it can be to devise, implement and adhere to a routine. With the best will in the world, life gets in the way doesn’t it? The thing about a sleep problem, is that it really needs to be given top priority within the family. When your child is sleep deprived, so are you, and we all know that it’s a form of torture.

Give yourself at least three months to put these steps into place, without expectation or changes to the schedule. We started seeing improvements in Polly after the first week, but once we’d been at it for three months real progress was evident.

 

Calling all parents: How affected by sleep deprivation are you right now? If the answer is very, and you’re at your wits end because you feel you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked long term, you are going to love my latest blog. ♥️ When her sleep was at its worst, Polly was waking up, on average, ten times a night. This went on for years, with all the usual tricks either not working or only being effective in the very short term. The article is almost 2000 words long, but I’m certain there is something in it for every desperate parent trying to figure out sleep solutions for their exhausted children. ♥️ Disclaimer: we were gifted our gorgeous bunk beds which are being built here by the lovely people at @warrenevansbeds but the blog post is entirely about our personal story…

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Things to consider before anything else

Creating a good sleeping environment is just as important as the routine itself. A dark cosy room, which isn’t full of distractions is a must, especially for children on the spectrum whose minds can be more difficult to quiet at the end of a busy day. Polly had her own room for years, and our younger two shared, but we moved her in with Clara about a year ago and it improved Polly’s sleep even further.

Something we hadn’t banked on was that sometimes Polly was waking in the night because she felt lonely, and now that she has the presence of her sister in the room that isn’t the case.

The girls adore their bunk beds from Warren Evans*, and devised a rota among themselves for who sleeps at the top so there are no arguments. They agreed that Polly could go first as she’s the eldest, then after one week it was Clara’s turn, then Polly, etc. During the first week they actually decided they liked the Polly up top/Clara at the bottom set up and have not been arguing about swapping.

For those considering bunk beds for children who have a fairly small age gap, and will find any excuse to argue, I can highly recommend thinking about a rota.

Things to do before bedtime

sleep through the nightIt’s easy to say keep stress to a minimum, but it does massively impact the witching hour. In my experience stress has always been the number one trigger for meltdowns during bedtime. The trouble is, once stress hormones have been stirred up, it can be very difficult to get your child to go to sleep.

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that calm is the most important factor in getting a decent nights rest. Even once a child is asleep, the quality of that sleep will likely be poor if they’ve stressed themselves out beforehand.

My children usually watch a film in the early evening, and we don’t allow small screens past 5pm. We have at least half an hour, if not longer, downtime between the TV going off and the kids going to bed. This allows them sufficient transition time from one task to the next.

Things to do during bedtime

I take my hat off to those who have multiple children of varying ages, and manage to stick to a routine at the exact same time every single night. For us we aim for certain things to happen within a time frame, but with the best will in the world it isn’t always possible.

We also find with our kids that a routine will work for a few months, then things will start sliding and need to be changed. We have structured our evening quiet time around playing LEGO, colouring, doing jigsaw puzzles and reading stories. At the moment they are enjoying meditation sleep stories in bed, which help them relax before dropping off.

It’s also vital that Polly gets to tick everything off her mental check list before going to sleep, otherwise she feels like something is missing. She needs to have fresh water in her bottle, she needs to know the details of what will be happening the next day, her hair has to be tied up in a certain way, and she absolutely must get goodnight kisses from the entire family. It took us a long while to realise that not ticking everything off her list was causing her serious anguish.

Things to do for night time wake ups

The million pound question for us c.2015 was what to do in the middle of night when Polly woke up distressed for whatever reason. The answer was getting to the bottom of what she needed and finding a solution as quickly as possible.

When we started out, Polly was waking on average ten times a night, often having bedtime-like meltdowns in the small hours. We were advised by Dr. K to silently guide her back to bed, without interacting with her, even if it took all night. My husband and I were absolutely dreading this, and the first few nights were indeed horrendous, but by the end of the first week we saw a massive improvement. By the end of the month we were astonished at how far we’d come, and by the time we had hit the three month mark she was consistently sleeping through the night for the first time ever.

Nowadays Polly only wakes in the middle of the night if she needs the toilet, or has had a scary dream and wants some comfort. I honestly cannot remember the last time she was up for more than fifteen minutes in the middle of the night.

sleep through the nightAn overview 

Bottom line is, if your child is a poor sleeper, you are going to be sleep deprived which adds an extra layer of difficulty to your days as a parent. Here are my biggest tips to help your kids get some Zzzzz’s: 

  • eat a healthy balanced diet of real food 
  • rule out any medical problems 
  • limit small screens, especially in the hour or two before bed 
  • ensure their sleeping environment is comfortable, a good quality bed is an absolute must 
  • keep stress to a minimum 
  • structure your bedtime routine around doing quiet activities to wind down 
  • read or listen to stories while your child is in bed 
  • make sure their mental checklist has been completed 
  • meet their needs in the night quickly with minimal interaction

*About Warren Evans

You cannot underestimate the importance of a good quality bed, and comfortable mattress. You honestly cannot go wrong with Warren Evans, who have 38 years of award winning experience handcrafting beds. Their superior service and quality products, at a fantastic price, means you get great value. For more info please read my article about how I fell in love with my Warren Evans bed and TEMPUR mattress.

Warren Evans was rated by Which? Members as the ‘Best Mattress Retailer’ in 2017. For great sleep tips see Warren Evans’ blog.

**Disclaimer: we were gifted our bunk beds by Warren Evans in exchange for this honest blog. For my full disclosure policy, please click here.**

 

Having recently breached the elusive 10k follower mark, I’d like to share my tips on how to win at Instagram (when you’re a busy parent who doesn’t have the time to engage 24/7/365)

Juggling the spinning plates of parenting and running an online business is bloody hard work. I’m not only a busy mum of three children, I also have a blog and write books. In between home educating the kids, cooking all our food from scratch and my writing, I also have to find time to promote said writing.

No mean feat! 

win at instagramEngaging on social media to build a following is what some consider to be a full time job, and is just not possible for people like me. We have enough going on already. I’ve learnt the hard way that if I have to sacrifice time with my children to win at Instagram (or anything for that matter), then it’s simply not worth it. So here’s my version of winning… 

Don’t be a dick

Actually this is also rule number one of life as far as I’m concerned. Playing the follow/unfollow game, buying followers and setting up like bots are the quickest and most surefire ways to lose your credibility. Nuff said. 

Try not to get too caught up in what everyone else doing

Again, a great rule for life, because as we all know comparison is often the thief of joy. As soon as we start copycatting what others are doing on Instagram we dilute our own message and become background noise. 

Who honestly gives a crap about the perfect flat lay or a pair of feet while drinking a cup of coffee?

Have a truly unique voice  

Which brings me nicely onto this point. Every blogger, vlogger and Instagrammer thinks they’re unique. We all believe we have an important message to bestow upon the world otherwise we’d have chucked the towel in long ago.

The sad fact is that most people are just parroting what everyone else has said. Don’t be like them, be yourself. By sharing the bits of your life that others are afraid to you’ll get the absolute most out of the experience, and your followers will genuinely feel they are gaining something by coming to your feed.

Vulnerability personified…

 

I grew up in a world where Jimmy Saville would fix all your problems, and Gary Glitter wanted you to be part of his gang. Where primary school kids had access to porn films and 8yo girls had their innocence stolen on a daily basis. 😔 I grew up in a world where comparison wasn’t always the thief of joy, and in fact sometimes knowing that others had it so much harder was a good thing for me. 😔 I grew up in a world where the WORST happened, and I got to the point where I could no longer forgive and forget. I made the hardest decision I’ve ever made (to date) when I was 26 years old (I’m now 38). 😔 Motherhood without a mum is more heartbreaking than I could ever articulate. On any given day I’ll flit between knowing I’ve made the right decision to desperately hoping I was wrong and wanting her to beat my door down. To say “I’m here now, and everything will be ok!” The words I know without doubt my dear grandma would have said, given half the chance. 😔 So if you’re struggling with similar issues please email me and I’ll send you a copy of Become the Best You. Had I read the book I wrote when I was on the edge, maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have fallen down a deep, dark hole.

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Follow people who properly inspire you

Instagram can too easily turn into one big linky. Scrolling through all the pretty photos, hardly reading the captions, because really who has the time to bother doing that? It can become exceptionally fake and pointless very quickly. The best way to avoid this happening is by only following the people who inspire and support you.

Accounts I like to follow: 

  • fellow home educators
  • people who make the sort of food I like to eat (not just take pretty photos of food) 
  • other parents of autistic kids 
  • yogis 
  • families who go travelling 

Don’t be afraid to unfollow people who don’t inspire you (they probably unfollowed you long ago anyway) 

I used to follow loads of other bloggers, and I would spend ages engaging on their pages because I thought that was the done thing. Then I installed a followers app, and learnt that around 80% of these ‘blogging friends’ didn’t follow me back. Which  is why they never engaged on my feed. So now I don’t bother wasting my time on these people at all. I still follow plenty of bloggers, but the genuinely supportive ones who care when I’m having a hard time and know what my kids are called. 

If someone comes to my feed and shows me a lot of love, then I like to return the favour. It’s nice to show other people that you care as much they do.

Choose your shortcuts wisely, because if they seem too good to be true, they usually are

People who promise to help you win at Instagram by growing your account with real followers are usually lying. I’ve done several trials of outsourcing my Insta, which has led to even more work on my behalf where they’ve followed loads of accounts I have zero interest in. I’ve come to the conclusion that there aren’t many shortcuts to be had in this arena.

In all honesty, my version of winning might not be everyone’s. I’ve had some great highs, such as this post below which is my most engaged with of all time. I’ve also had some very low lows recently post-algorithm change.

I am not glued to my phone though, and for me, that is more important than anything else!

I’m a heart on sleeve wearing open book

That much is obvious from the candidness of this here blog. As well as my first book, which people have claimed was the catalyst for them changing their life. Minor thing right? Wrong! It’s a bloody big deal. 

The people who know things (?) say we shouldn’t expect other people to behave the way that we do. That we need to get to grips with the fact that we can’t control the way other’s think or their actions towards us. In fact fully grasping this was a big turning point for my mental health after my second breakdown in 2006. However, I’ve been truly shocked by other people’s behaviour this past year, utterly lost for words many times (as a writer that is saying something).

So I feel it’s appropriate to share this piece right now. Because if you want to cross the line into my real world, or are already a part of it, there are a few basic rules I’d like you to adhere to. 

Basic rules of life 

heart on sleeve wearing open bookPlease do not smile sweetly to my face, then bitch about me behind my back. As far as I’m concerned, integrity is everything, so if you have a problem with me, or my kids, let’s talk about it. I don’t think it’s expecting too much for you to come to me with your grievances, so we can discuss them like adults. At thirty eight and a half I am an adult, and everyone I interact with is also an adult. Act like one.  

I don’t ask for help lightly, if I do it’s because I am desperate. I had two mental breakdowns in my twenties, and have had numerous cycles of depression throughout my life. I can sense the black clouds when they are looming. I try exceptionally hard to stay positive, but with my days being as chronically stressful as they are, this is a monumental task. 

When a person has estranged themselves from their entire family, it means they have had to make unimaginably difficult decisions. Don’t judge me for them, have compassion and try to understand what would drive a person to do that in the first place. 

While we’re on the subject of judgement, until you’ve truly walked in my shoes, your unsolicited opinion is rarely welcome. Genuinely helpful advice, yes please. Constructive criticism which will enable me to become a better person, hell yeah. Anything else? Zip your lips and throw away the key. 

Me talking openly about my struggles is not attention seeking. In fact I often end up in floods of tears when people tell me how inspirational I am for doing so. Give me a compliment about my hair being swishy then I’ll smile politely and say thank you. Tell me that you think I’m amazing for daring to openly go where most others can’t/won’t, then I will cry. But let me be explicit here: when you spend as much time feeling as broken as I do, you don’t feel very inspirational. Quite the opposite. 

But above all else… 

Don’t be a disappointment. Don’t tell me you’re a friend but find any excuse you can to not spend time with me. Don’t disappear for months then come back and give me some flimsy reason as to why you couldn’t return my text messages. 

Life is hard, that much is clear. But when are surrounded by awesome people, it gets so much easier. I don’t allow everyone I meet into my world, far from it. I’m selective, I like to feel that my friendships are genuine and a two way street. If it all starts feeling a bit too one-sided, then I’m going to take it personally. Ten years ago, fresh out the other side of mental breakdown and true rock bottom, I thought I had all this sussed out. However, as I said at the start, this past year has properly opened my eyes.

They say that in the end everyone is just trying to save themselves, but I think this mindset is making us selfish. At what point should we put what we want to one side and just be there for the ones we supposedly love most in our lives? I don’t have all the answers, but I do hope this piece starts a conversation.

 

My mental health has taken a battering in the last six months or so. I used to be great at plastering on a fake smile and pretending I was ok, but now, not so much. In the same way that my daughter gets emotionally burnt out from masking her autism, I think I too have become emotionally burnt out. I’m also concerned that I might have PTSD brewing. The warning signs are there, plain as day. ♥️ As I mentioned in my previous post, our January has been all kinds of horrendous: Sickness ✅ Meltdowns every day ✅ Sleep thievery a newborn baby would be proud of ✅ Crippling overwhelm ✅ Feeling like I’m failing in every aspect of my life ✅ The list could go on, but you get the picture? ♥️ Half the people I know tell me I should be demanding help from those in a position to give it. The other half clearly think I’ve done too much moaning already and need to (wo)man up. The edges are getting blurry, that much is obvious, but I do know this. Others find my candidness comforting, and that counts for a lot in this over-filtered often fake world we live in. ♥️ I had numerous messages after posting a me too last year, from women thanking me for being their voice. Women who were traumatised by the abuse they’ve suffered silently, because coming out would destroy their families. People have said that my self-help book/memoir gave them the impetus to change their lives for the better. That my blog posts touch them in a way other words simply don’t. This is why I will continue to talk openly about my struggles for as long as I’m on social media. There’s only so long that you can pretend you’re ok (when you’re not) before the wheels start falling off. ♥️ So it was rather apt that the PR team for #GetTheInsideOut asked me to spread the word about their brilliant campaign aimed to get people talking about their mental health. A problem shared is a problem halved after all. Check out the hashtag for more details…

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**this blog for paleo chocolate sponge cake has been written by my 8yo daughter Polly**

Hi it’s Polly here. I haven’t written a blog in a while so I thought I should. I love baking and this is probably the best chocolate cake that you could ever possibly make, but you probably know that from looking at the title.  

I started my cooking journey when I was about 2 years old and used to sit on the kitchen side mixing a few things in a bowl. I remember that it made me so happy. I started properly cooking alone when I was 7 years old.

Recently I went though my mums old cooking journal that she wrote before we went Paleo, and changed the recipes to make them Paleo friendly. For example, instead of gluteny flour I used almond flour, instead of normal sugar I used coconut sugar or honey.

This is how I invented my winning chocolate cake, which is the nicest cake I’ve made so far. I’ve made it for a few people’s birthdays, and even my really fussy friends ate it and loved it.

😀

Ingredients for Paleo Chocolate Sponge Cake:

paleo chocolate sponge cake1 cup Ground almonds (But if they are fine then 1/2 a cup)
1/3 cup Coconut Sugar
1/4 cup Cacao
1/2 cup Olive Oil
1/2 Tea spoon Bicarb
1/4 Tea spoon Vanilla powder (If using Vanilla Extract you will need 1 Tea spoon)
3 eggs

For Butter cream

100g Raw Butter
2 heaped spoons of Cacao
1 heaped spoon of Honey
1/2 Tea spoon Vanilla (If using Vanilla Extract you will need 1 Tea spoon)

Method for Cake:

– Preheat your oven to 170c

– Grease your tin 

– Mix Together Ground almonds, Coconut sugar, Cacao, Vanilla and Bicarb

– In another bowl Whisk together your eggs and Oil

– Put in tin

– Bake for 15-20 Min’s

Method for icing: 

– Soften your butter (But don’t leave it so long it melts)

– When it is soft add your honey

– Then add your Cacao

– Put into a piping bag and pipe on top and in the middle if you want 

Me and my mummy making Paleo Chocolate Sponge Cake

Click here for more blogs by Polly

All parents have had one of those days

In fact, most of us have lost count of them by the time our first child reaches toddlerhood. The thing is though, when they become the norm, and the good days become the exception to the rule, we’ve got serious problems on our hands.

They say the sum of our parenting parts will determine the future stability of our children. In other words, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over one of those days. Everyone has them, and they are to be expected. We are encouraged to write them off by self-medicating with junk TV/booze/meditation/the gym/a yoga session. This would of course work wonderfully, providing one of those days aren’t too frequent.

What the AF are you supposed to do when they make up at least half of every single day? When all your best efforts are thrown in your face and it would seem that nothing is helping your kids. When they are in pain, and look to you for solutions, but you have tried everything already? When you literally get over one obstacle, which you were convinced was the root of so much, only to have another mountain of an issue to have to try and solve the next day?      

Just. Stay. Positive (right?!)

They say that we should tune out to the negative and embrace the positive. I have subscribed to this mindset in the past, and firmly believe that when we only have ourselves to worry about this should go without saying. Unless we’re homeless, hungry and totally skint, there is always a silver lining to be found if we look hard enough. When we add kids to the mix though, life becomes complicated, and it’s not so simple anymore.

I’ll tell you a secret, and not because I’m bragging, because I need to remember it. I absolutely ACED the early motherhood years – the ones that so many other people I know found excruciating. Even through all the sleeplessness and reflux and allergies and eczema. Even through the zero contact with my family, and only working part time so not having a huge amount of spare cash. Even through three pregnancies, which my body did not find easy.

Five years in it was another story 

one of those daysWe had three kids, an autism diagnosis, and a seriously unhappy girlie at school. The extra needs made our lives mind blowingly challenging. They still do. 

Essentially I am parenting a child whose language I don’t naturally speak. I am learning every day how to be the mama she needs me to be. Whilst at the same time still being sensitive to the other two, who also have varying needs.

The jury is out for us on whether those needs will come in the shape of the spectrum, but it’s irrelevant anyway. All children are different, and all children on the spectrum are different.   

Why I’m starting to loathe the so-called positive quotes on social media

When your offspring are pushing you to your very limit on a daily basis, it can be tough to dig deep enough to find the tools you need to cope. When your kids have extras, plastering on a cheesy smile and “faking it until you make it” just does not cut the mustard. Neither does looking in the mirror and telling yourself that it’s only “one of those days” or “I am enough!”

It kills me to admit this, but sometimes I am not enough for my three. Some days the self-sabotage that goes on inside these four walls gets the better of all of us. 

I am constantly looking for ways to improve my parenting abilities, and so is my husband. Yes we bicker, but we are a team. I’ve read so many parenting books and they all say the same thing: consistency is the key to success. When you look around and feel that none of your efforts, no matter how consistent, have sunk in, what then?

You end up feeling like a complete failure 

At the beginning of last year we were in a terrible way. Christmas 2016 was largely horrendous, we had one girl being home educated and the other one in school and hating it. Our then toddler was up half the night every night, and frankly the whole family was in a dire mess.

By mid March I started seeing a glimmer of hope. It felt like we were making progress – we’d decided to remove Clara from school, Freddy was sleeping a little better and Polly was impressing us with her maturity.

Finally, after putting out non-stop mummy fires for as long as I could remember, it felt like we were on the up! 

The euphoria was to be short lived though 

Within weeks Polly had bashed her face on the slide at the park and knocked her two front teeth out. What followed was six months of dentist appointments, annoyance and agitation. Polly’s stims started coming in the form of rubbing her teeth on anything she walked past, and she still does this almost a year later. This means that she has weakened her teeth, which in turn means they are super sensitive. They hurt her when she’s brushing them, and the temporary fillings come out more often than they should. More dental appointments. More annoyance.

 

I’ve been super quiet on here so far this year. We had a brilliant end to a ridiculously challenging 2017. Lots of fun was had over the festivities, and I had a real sense of hope and optimism on New Year’s Eve for the first time in a long time. 💫 It didn’t last though. The Christmas comedown came for my kids with full force. Last week was all kinds of difficult, and this week hasn’t been much of an improvement. 💫 Monday was a day of highs and lows. Lowest point being the morning spent at A&E, highest being the awesome afternoon spent with our amazing friends for their son’s birthday, which is where this photo was taken. 💫 I guess to achieve true happiness in this life we have to hold on to the glimmers of fabulous and snippets of wonderful. Even when they feel few and far between, and the bits in the middle are testing us beyond our wildest nightmares. 💫 I hope your 2018 is going better than ours so far, and here’s hoping that ours ups it’s game ASAP🤞

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By the end of last year, after a grinding amount of effort on my behalf, it felt like we were on the up again. Now, not even one month into the new year we’re back to that awful place. Polly has low level agitation going on over several things that we have on the horizon. Her triggers have become very complex, and in fact right now her brother and sister are setting her off more than anything else.

Putting out mummy fires has once again become the order of the day. Even with yoga, and clean eating and super present parenting. Even with minimal time spent on social media, and not nearly enough effort going into this blog or my book. I look around most days, and wonder how on earth we got here. None of us deserve the stress and upset this life is causing us. 

The scary thoughts that whirl through my mind

Some days I look at my children and I want to run away from them. As far away as possible and never come back. What kind of monster of a mother must I be to have these toxic thoughts? It’s gone so far past having one of those days, but no matter what I do, I just don’t seem to be making enough of a difference. Don’t even get me started on my fears for the future and what will become of these kids in this big bad world. It literally terrifies me.

I spent almost three months of last year stone cold sober, and still these thoughts. I’m beginning to think that the chronic stress has got the better of my mind.  

one of those daysI don’t know what the solution is. Giving more just does not seem feasible, because I honestly don’t know how much more I have to give. 

Get more respite most would argue, but how? With no family my side and minimal help on the other side. My kids abhor being left with strangers, and look how school has worked out for us in the past.  

The irrational side of my brain is screaming GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE! Take the family around the world and have an adventure.

But the logical side is saying, ha ha ha, that’s not going to solve your problems is it?

Once a traveller, always a traveller, I guess.   

If any of you out there have an idea you’d like to throw my way, by all means please do. As always big love for the mama’s and papa’s out there feeling this way…