Our own harshest critics: judgement
I’ve heard the J word so much since becoming a mum, and have often felt that other women think I’m judging them for their choices. That I’m some kind of supermum that has it all sorted, and by default that means I look down at what they do.
Second of all, I’ve had way too colourful a past to judge other people.
I have come to the conclusion that it is their own insecurities making them feel this way. My choices have very little to do with it. Let me give you some examples…
Our own harshest critics: cooking from scratch / clean eating
As I’ve mentioned before, I have suffered with food sensitivities all my adult life, and was diagnosed with Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) when I was 26. Cutting out processed carbs, dairy products and refined sugars from my diet led to me falling pregnant naturally, and by accident, even after two different doctors told me I would need fertility treatment when the time came to start a family.
I believe wholeheartedly in nutrition, and using it as a way to heal the body and mind. I’ve been following the all-natural GAPS diet for over a year now, which has had a dramatic effect over my wellbeing. Not to mention the fact that I can now tolerate foods that were bringing me out in rashes after eating them previously.
GAPS is working for me, but it’s exceptionally restrictive in comparison to what most folk eat. I don’t think any less of others for not doing the same though, what you eat is up to you. If my gut health wasn’t in such a state I wouldn’t have to do diet as drastic as GAPS. It’s certainly not my first choice.
Our own harshest critics: breastfeeding
I always knew that I wanted to breastfeed, and feel very fortunate that I have managed to do so. Being as intolerant to dairy as I am it was never on my radar to give my babies formula which is essentially made from cows milk. Here’s the thing though, I genuinely do not care how anyone else feeds their baby, as long as the baby is getting fed.
There’s so much breast-bashing that goes on, which is unnecessary and unhelpful. This is how I do things in my family because it works for my family. End of. I don’t go shoving the ‘breast is best’ mantra down people’s throats, and personally, I have never heard of a breastfeeding woman doing this. I use boobies as an ace card when I’ve run out of other ideas, which probably isn’t the done thing at all.
Our own harshest critics: baby wearing
After my son was born I realised pretty quickly that if I were to get anything done, I would need to have him in the sling where he could eat and sleep when he pleased. We also had a double buggy which the girls would go into, and (gasp) still do if we need to do a lot of walking and little leggies get tired.
I could convince myself that people are staring at us thinking ‘that child is too big for a buggy’, but deep down I know that they aren’t, and it’s my own internal voice torturing me. Mummy guilt is an absolute bitch though, isn’t it?
Are you being judged?
Next time you feel that you are being judged, take a step back, a big deep breath and ask yourself whether the person doing the judging is actually you.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that we are often our own harshest critics. We complain about the lack of sisterly solidarity, but beat ourselves up over the tiniest of things.
In the great words of Queen Elsa of Arandale, LET IT GO!
Apparently if you like yourself in this day and age you are in the minority, which makes me sad, because unless we truly like ourselves, how on earth can we expect to walk past the mirror without being judged?