Motherhood is enjoying an evening connecting with your partner. Both giving each other “the look” throughout your exchanges and walking upstairs confident that you’re on for some damn fine loving. Only to find a small child in your bed, with a snotty nose and warm head. Instead of getting laid you get coughed on all night.
Motherhood is navigating the tricky conversations. Guiding your children to make good choices by encouraging them to think logically and instinctively know the difference between wrong and right.
Motherhood is your heart breaking as yet-another autism sponsored meltdown rips through your family like a hurricane.
Motherhood is your heart swelling with pride watching your kids become fine humans. Acing their educational tasks and socially interacting on levels which astound you. Mastering gymnastics and making up dance routines. Cooking three course meals and saving up their pocket money for something big, rather than spend it all on junk.
Motherhood is knowing there is no place for perfectionism. What do unicorns, spotlessly clean family homes, 24/7/365-well-behaved-children and women with “it all” have in common? They are complete fallacies. In fact scrap that. They are outright LIES!
Motherhood is making time for your passions, in a way that isn’t damaging to the kids. As much as I adore writing, it can’t be to their detriment. Which means occasionally getting up at 4am, but the house is nice and quiet and it’s glorious watching the sun rise.
Motherhood is not expecting too much from your little cherubs. The weight of those expectations sit so heavily on small shoulders. It’s much better to let them do things at their own pace. This Maori quote about autism sums it up beautifully for me.
tōku/tōna anō takiwā
(my/his/her own time and space)
Motherhood is investing in friendships, because boy will you need them. People will naturally come and go, but your true diamond friends will prove their worth many times over. Finding a tribe, who genuinely have your back, is incredibly empowering.
Motherhood is knowing the days are long but the years are short. It’s impossible to enjoy every-single-minute, because we are not robots. However, there is much to be said for viewing life with a half-full cup, not losing hope and being grateful for what we do have. Most of all, trying to find a glimmer of joy, in the toughest, most soul destroying times.
Motherhood is using the rollercoaster emoji at least once a day, in text messages to your nearest and dearest.