Autism Parenting

Just when things couldn’t get any worse, they got MUCH better

I don’t usually post blogs that haven’t been carefully edited and worked on for at least a few days. Especially ones that are emotionally charged. On Saturday though I broke all my blogging rules, and pressed the publish button within an hour of starting to write.

The house was an absolute mess, I hadn’t even brushed my teeth let alone showered, and I had other things I should have been doing. I felt I had to though, and Do not tell me to hang in there flew out of my hands. I needed the dark thoughts out of my head, and I’m glad I wrote it.

I was very touched by the amount of friends – real life and online – that got in contact and asked if I was okay. People were genuinely concerned, and very supportive, and once again it has left me feeling incredibly fortunate to have the amazing people in my life that I do.

they got much better

Saturday was also a bit of a turning point. Several amazing things happened. 

Firstly the kids and I had a great time together, whilst I was flying solo and hubby enjoyed his bi-annual meet up with the uni lads.

We took it easy and didn’t rush, which is a huge behaviour trigger for us. I let the kids decide what we did (soft play, obvs), and I broke all our food rules by having a fish and chip picnic tea in the garden. Afterwards I got everyone to sleep  with much less fuss along the way than we have had at bedtime recently.

Rather than walk down the stairs feeling broken, I came downstairs feeling rather happy with what I’d achieved. Rather than getting the laptop out and engrossing myself in blog-land, I cleaned my bomb site of a house, and had a couple of glasses of chilled red wine. Boy did they feel hard earned and even more delicious than usual.

Sunday morning saw a minor miracle occur in my house.

Although F was up twice in the night it wasn’t for long, and he slept in until 7:30am, with the girls getting up about twenty minutes later having both slept through for the first time in I can’t even remember how long.

It was raining so our plans to go to the local splash park got cancelled, but that was fine. We still went out and had a lovely day. It wasn’t perfect or without incident, but it was all normal stuff. We had smiles on our faces for the most part. Bedtime wasn’t great, but it didn’t break me.

The girls slept through again last night, and weren’t up at the crack of dawn this morning. F slept in until almost 8am and has been a delight; rather than the grumpy monkey he is when he’s up at 5am.

I know I’m in danger of massively jinxing myself here, but I couldn’t let Saturday’s post be the one that comes up on my home page.

I’m not so naive that I think all our problems have disappeared overnight, but it certainly feels like the spell has been broken.

After two nights sleep as good as this, I feel shiny and new.

And I like it!

fish and chip picnic tea

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mummytries

Full time wife and mummy to three, home educator, blogger, wannabee chef and published author. Follow me on my journey through life...

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49 Comments

  1. Sleep makes such a difference – I am so lucky that all my children were good sleepers! You are doing a great job! Thank you for linking up to #MyFavouritePost Kaz x

  2. A few good night’s sleep can make all the difference can’t it. A change is also as good as a holiday, when it comes to not so great habits with kids. Thanks so much for linking up with #MyFavouritePost

  3. It’s amazing what a difference a couple of good night’s sleep can make – so glad that you have had a much better couple of days and fingers crossed that this upward trend continues x

  4. Sometimes we needs a few days like that to keep going hey! Lovely post x

  5. It’s amazing what difference sleep makes isn’t it? Fin kept going hypo (low blood glucose) for a couple of weeks in the night recently, so I was doing a lot of night time checks on him, and generally feeling angry at Type 1 Diabetes – I don’t think it cares that I’m angry with it -and every little thing that happened on top of this no matter how small felt huge and dark
    Luckily he’s settled mostly this week and I feel back to myself, but knowing how I feel when we’re having a bad week, I can really emphasise with how you must feel having had years of bad nights. I’m so pleased things feel better for you right now and I really hope it carries on like that

    Stevie xx

  6. Thanks my lovely. The amount of people that reached out was very touching, and made me feel a lot less alone – not that I was alone with three kids in tow but you know what I mean.

    Motherhood is so tough, and the added extras I’ve had to contend with lately (autism, severe sleep deprivation, one illness after the other to name but a few) have definitely left me broken many times.

    Hopefully we’re on the up now. Fingers crossed anyway xx

  7. Oh my lovely if only it was a crappy day. It’s literally been non-stop since getting back from Greece at the end of May, but really this whole year has been full on. We’re planning on weaning F off the boob in a few weeks time, and with that should (fingers crossed) come sleep. That elusive five letter word that is the bane of my life. Once I’m not being tortured, and am getting more than two hours at a time, I hope life will be a bit easier xx

  8. Our behaviour totally influences the kids, I learnt that a long time ago. Unfortunately I’ve spent most of the last six week since getting home from Greece putting out mummy fires. It can be tough to practice mindful parenting, but mindfulness is exactly what my eldest in particular needs. All the time. It’s hard, especially on as broken sleep as I’m getting.

    Not rushing them, and letting them set the tone of the day on Saturday was the key to a happy time though. We’ll be doing a lot of that over the summer xx

  9. Thanks so much, fingers crossed xx

  10. Thanks so much! It was a lovely weekend, and that extra shut eye has seen me through this week so far xx

  11. Small wins are huge in these situations aren’t they. It’s been a really rough couple of months, but I’m hoping we are finally on the up xx

  12. That sounds like a marvellous idea my lovely. Head on over 🙂

  13. Thanks hon, it’s certainly been a rough couple of months. Hopefully the spell has been broken and we’re on the up now xx

  14. Thanks so much lovely, it was so desperately needed all round! More sleep please xx

  15. Yay! A shiney, happy Renee and long may it continue x

  16. Thanks so much for dropping by. I’ll check out your post asap 🙂

  17. It really does! I need a plan of action to guarantee more of it 😉

  18. Thanks so much John, it ended up being a pretty cool weekend considering how it started 😉

  19. Thanks so much my lovely. Unfortunately the blissfulness did only last those two days, but it was enough for me to shift my mood. Sleep really does make all the difference… just have to find a way of getting more of the stuff now xxx

  20. Sorry to hear you’ve had a rough time too lately lovely, I know how you must have felt when you wrote that last post. I too have said “I cant do this anymore” but like you said we have no choice so just get on with it! So glad to hear you had a lovely weekend and got some much needed sleep! Makes all the difference! Having a good vent can definitely make you feel better too! Hope things continue to improve for you lovely!! Xx

  21. Glad to hear you had a better day. Long may it continue! #TheTruthABout

  22. So glad to hear this! Sleep makes all the difference, doesn’t it (to us and the kids!) 🙂

  23. It sounds like things improved vastly Renee, and even if was only for a few days, better a few good ones that more bad ones.
    You might like this post of mine on the importance of letting children own their time http://threesonslater.blogspot.de/2015/05/the-importance-of-time.html

  24. Oh, I am so pleased to read this having read your previous post at the weekend (did I comment, meant to, but was away so not sure if I actually did!). Sleep makes such a difference for the kids (and us), a day without the tired grumpiness is so good, and I definitely find that letting them choose some/all of what we do helps a lot x

  25. I need to go and read this other post! Sounds awful but so glad things have improved! I guess you little ones have picked up that you have chilled and they are behaving better too. Sure breaking a few rules helps though! So glad as you need happy times! Fingers crossed it stays xx #thetruthabout

  26. Oh, little man! The littlest 2 haven’t had it yet, but I keep thinking it would be better for them to have it sooner than later. Shall we have a pox party?

  27. I’m so glad you feel better. It can be so hard to see the positives when you’ve had a crappy few days and everything seems so overwhelming. A good nights sleep seems like such a small thing but it makes such a huge difference. x

  28. When I read this, I immediately had a look at the previous post that prompted it.
    Suffice to say, I’m very glad things took an up-turn for you!
    Enjoy every second of that unbroken sleep x

  29. I was so pleased when I read this Reneé! I think that, especially when you’re flying solo, you sometimes need to cut a few corners and bend a few rules – just relax, because when you are relaxed the kids are bound to pick up on that (funny how influenced they can be by our actions isn’t it, but so true). Brilliant about the sleep too – makes a world of difference. Xx #thetruthabout

  30. I either read this in one of your posts or in a comment on one of your posts, but you said that a friend had told you to “accept you’d have one horrific day a week” and that the knowledge that, yep, sometimes life will seem sh*t is actually quite useful in coping. Sounds as if you had your horrendous day, and then the great days seemed even more wonderful in comparison! x

    #thetruthabout

  31. What a wonderful read Renee. I’m sorry about your experience a few days prior. Feeling broken at times is all part of motherhood. What I think this shows, is the power of ‘community’ in helping you to overcome what looked like a total disaster. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you had a change of heart and felt more positive. And as we know, every attitude rubs off on our kiddies! I often find that flying solo is easier (just once in a while) because they haven’t got an additional human being to compete against for my attention! Glad you had a lovely couple of days and are feeling more positive 🙂

  32. It really is… ahhh one day I’ll get me some Zzzzz’s! Thanks for dropping by 🙂

  33. alcohol might be the jokey answer, but sleep really is a parent’s best friend

  34. Thanks Morgan, it’s been a shocker! Hopefully on the up now (aside from the chicken poxy baby) xx

  35. Ahhh it really is blissful! Not rushing is so the way forward, we will be doing a LOT of not rushing over the summer! Would you believe that F has come down with chicken pox this morning? At least it explains the horrendous sleep phase…

  36. Thanks so much! The month of June was an absolute shocker but hopefully July will continue to be a bit kinder… that said my little one has come out in chicken pox this morning eeeekkk

  37. So glad you’re feeling better! Although its totally acceptable to have bad days now and then! 🙂 #MyfavouritePost

  38. Crazy how a bit of sleep makes all the difference, huh? I am really pleased you”re feeling better sweetie. We need to take it easy from time to time and things fall into place when we least expect them to. We had a nice day here, too Instead of rushing around like headless chickens, we just took our time this morning, didn’t run to playgroup and the morning was bliss if you forget about the meltdowns (it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase…).

  39. Oh my Hun, I haven’t read your previous post, missed that one (a reminder to subscribe!) but I’m so glad things are better for you. Sounds like you’ve had a lovely weekend and here’s to more undisturbed night’s sleep. Xxx

  40. It’s been a rough few weeks, but hopefully we’re on the up now! Fingers crossed for you too my dear xx

  41. Good luck – I really felt for you when I read your post. I’ve had a busy streak (with reduced sleep!) of about 10 days, but nothing compared with yours, and mine is over now.
    Fingers crossed that you get more of that treat called sleep over the next few days.

  42. Haha maybe, it certainly helped 🙂

  43. It really does make all the difference doesn’t it! I’m going to be letting them decide what we’rd doing and move at their pace a lot this summer!!

    Good luck for finding your motivation hon, it’s hard when the sun is shining xx

  44. Thanks so much Julie. Really kind of you to pop by. Hope you have a fab day xxx

  45. Simon says:

    It’s the magic of fish and chips I tell you!

  46. It really does help to get it all out, I’ve leart the hard way over the years that bottling it up is no good for me at all. I’m very blessed to have the support network that I do (including your lovely self). Thanks so much for commenting xxx

  47. I’m so sorry I missed Saturday’s post, but I’m glad you wrote it (If you know what I mean) because I agree with you completely-it’s when we carry on pretending that ‘things are OK’ that we can get into trouble. That’s a lesson I’ve learnt recently, amongst many others. And in offloading and admitting stuff is hard, it brings a new kind of strength I think. Which is what I’m reading here in this post now too. Take care lovely and I’m glad things are seeming a little better xx

  48. Hi Renee, I read your earlier post this morning and I’m so pleased to read this one now knowing things appear to have improved hugely. Best wishes Julie xxx

  49. So pleased Mama, sometimes it takes everything to feel like rock bottom before it gets better and things are on the up, I found over the weekend allowing the boys more freedom to choose what to do made for a happier outcome too, we’ve had such a blissful chilled weekend, struggling to work today !

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