Unsugar Coated Motherhood

Facts of Mummyhood

I doubt highly there would have been anything I could have said to my pre-children self that would have put me off the idea, however if I had the opportunity to travel back in time and offer that me some parenting insight, it would probably go a little something like this…

– breast is best, but once you have fed a baby for a year you can kiss goodbye to your pert DD’s. They are gone forever, be grateful that you had them in the first place and don’t waste your precious energy lusting after them

– ditto the gorgeous skinny Diesel jeans with a 26 inch waist that you used to love wearing so much

– unless your little darlings are elsewhere don’t expect to go to the loo in private

– it will take you a whole year to read a 300 page book

– holidays will never be never be relaxing again!

– forget all about a sex life while the kids are small, and don’t even bother thinking about the R word

– you’ll argue with your other half about a hundred times more than you used to, and have days when you hate him for no reason at all

– your in-laws will pee you off no matter how hard they try

– every single parent on the planet has moments when they wish they could send their offspring back to where they came from

– BUT (and this is really important) no matter how hard your day has been, and how brutal the witching hour, when they are finally asleep, you will love them so much it actually hurts

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  1. Oh my poor boobs. Sniff. Sob..

  2. I hear you on all of these, though I was never lucky enough to have DDs and 26 inch waist! Great post, many truths – perfect for #thetruthabout x

  3. mummytries says:

    Oh my word that’s so true! Although we ended up in a bit of a sleep/feed nightmare with our third because he was used to just sleeping in our bed and feeding all night… he’s now in his own room, and sometimes sleeps, but often still gets boobs in the night. If my pre-children self could see me now she would be shocked πŸ˜‰

  4. mummytries says:

    Hubby and I have a running joke that he’ll buy me a new pair for my 40th xx

  5. mummytries says:

    Thank you, much appreciated πŸ™‚

  6. mummytries says:

    Thanks lovely πŸ™‚

  7. mummytries says:

    That is such good advice hon, hope she takes it xx

  8. mummytries says:

    Never the same but definitely worth every second πŸ˜‰

  9. mummytries says:

    How lovely that you have such fond memories from your own childhood holidays hon. I’m sure once my boy is old enough for the kids club it’ll be fine. Only two more years to go πŸ˜‰

  10. mummytries says:

    Oh my word I’m so pleased I’m not the only one! I have so many half read books that I’ve just given up on in the last couple of years. My head hits the pillow and that’s me done… I’m averaging three pages a night at the moment!

  11. mummytries says:

    Glad it’s not just me! There’s something about a sleeping child that really does melt the heart…

  12. Brilliant and so very true! I definitely find myself arguing with my hubby more since having kids and hating him for no reason (especially when I’m very sleep-deprived) but then seeing him being such a great dad has made me appreciate him even more. It is so true that even when you want to pull your hair out in frustration after a stressful day, looking at your sleeping children just makes your heart melt.

  13. Yes to the one year per book! I used to be an avid reader. An old college friend of mine is also a voracious reader but has kept it up much better than me (she’s single and doesn’t have children, which may have something to do with it.) She always asks, “So what are you reading?” And my answer is usually, “Oh, same thing as the last 14 times you asked. But this time I’m almost finished with Chapter 4!”


  14. I remember this post from before and have to agree! I’m going to be ridiculously optimistic and say that I’m hoping holidays will be even better than before once the kids are a bit older and more independent – proper family holidays like I remember from my childhood only with me as one of the adults (‘the groans’ as we used to call them!) instead of the kids πŸ™‚ Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout

  15. Haha! So true! Nothing is ever the same once the little ones join the party! It can be brutal, but it’s so worth it!


  16. This is a lovely list and all so very true!
    A friend of mine is 3 months pregnant with her first – I have been insistently telling her she needs to book one last sunny holiday away with her husband and spend it lounging by the pool. As we know, holidays do not look like that anymore!
    Great post!

  17. I love your honesty! The inlays one especially (I hear you!) #thetruth

  18. All so true! Just shared this on my twitter πŸ™‚ #thetruthabout

  19. Love every single point! The boob one especially. I was never big but after 10 months feeding my left one is non-existant!! She’s so worth it though; little monster xx

  20. Completely agree with all these. Thought I was alone with the penultimate one! I could only add – in the end – that your sanity is surely the most important thing to preserve. Do whatever it takes to ensure this – if that means feeding them to sleep in your bed – then so be it! Ignore the scaremongers and do whatever works for you…

  21. We were the same – by the time we finally conceived (after five years of growing doubt), we were just about the last of our friends to have kids too. And no, we absolutely were not ready for the onslaught!

  22. mummytries says:

    Totally and utterly lovely!!

  23. mummytries says:

    Tee hee if only we could have kids and still fit into them πŸ˜‰ and yes, no matter how tough life is, the sight of my sleeping children will always melt my heart xx

  24. mummytries says:

    Haha if it’s the key to everything then I’m in serious trouble xx

  25. mummytries says:

    Thanks so much! Butter wouldn’t melt πŸ˜‰ xx

  26. mummytries says:

    Definitely reciprocated this end xx

  27. mummytries says:

    Lucky you! My hubby and I have a running joke that he’ll buy me a new pair for my 40th πŸ™‚

  28. mummytries says:

    That’s incredible hon, go you!! Fortunately my wedding dress doesn’t fit, but I was 5 months pregnant so i’m pleased about this fact xx

  29. Ok, ok, I’m gonna be a real a-hole here and just revel in the delight that today I tried on my wedding dress, and I fit into it perfectly!!! (After two kids and a body that loves to cling to weight, I am delighted!!!). My boobs have also survived with minimal damage. Sorry. Sorry. I’m just happy!!!

    However, we haven’t been on holiday yet because I can’t imagine just how chaotic it would be. The in-laws: nuff said. My hubs is probably my most well-used punching bag (poor Ian). Remind me, what does ‘sex’ mean again?

    Loved this post ReneΓ©!


  30. Love this! And they’re all true, apart from my own modest handfuls. heehee πŸ™‚

  31. Brilliant Renee and so true on all counts. I smiled (a lot) at the bit about hating your other half for no reason at all. I imagine it’s reciprocated regularly! x

  32. Great post! Had me laughing out loud. yes why is it our children look so much more adorable when they’re asleep?!! xx

  33. Yep to every single point! I hope you get some good sleep soon too hon – sleep is the key to everything I think… X #thetruthabout

  34. LOVE THIS. Actually laughed at the boob and Diesel jeans points ha ha. And of course, the last one is the most true of all isn’t it? xx

  35. Oh yes, so very true and particularly the last one. No matter how much they manage to push your buttons when they’re awake, one look at their little sleeping faces and your heart just melts again.

  36. […] If you enjoying this post, you might like to read my Reality of Two Kids or Facts of Mummyhood […]

  37. Haha love this! So true although I read somewhere it’s not the breastfeeding that changes breasts but the way your muscle and fat distribution is affected by hormones (might have made that up though or imagined it)! Wow 26 inch jeans, I got back to 28 after two kids but put on lots of weight this summer so although they’ll close, they are not comfy! Determined to change that though! Love this post! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

  38. Most of my friends already had kids by the time we had our eldest and I honestly thought I’d have a headstart. Then the baby came home and we realised we knew nothing! It’s a steep, difficult and emotional learning curve but an utterly incredible one as well. You forsake so much when you have children but get so much in return too. Thanks for dropping by Tim!

  39. All so true – especially the last one. I don’t think anything quite prepares you for the stresses of parenthood – but equally nothing prepares you for the joys either. A true rollercoaster ride, this parenting lark!

  40. Tee hee we wouldn’t have it any other way though xxx

  41. Yep yep yep, Nodding ALL the way through this! x x

  42. Glad it did hon xx

  43. Glad to see that hubby and I aren’t the only ones with no time for romance my lovely πŸ˜‰ xx

  44. That’s a great quote, I’ll have to remember that one!

  45. Isn’t it mad how you can be tearing your hair out all day, but miss them at night! I love the quote “having a bad day doesn’t make you a bad mummy”

  46. Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) says:

    Great post, so true, and honestly when I read “the R word” it took a few mins to work out what that word was lol! Proof positive that I don’t even think about that πŸ™‚ #brilliantblogposts xx

  47. So true, especially the last line. Made me smile lovely xx

  48. Thanks so much πŸ™‚

  49. Thanks Emma xx

  50. Very funny! πŸ™‚ x

  51. Aaahhh so true and made me smile πŸ™‚ x

  52. Thanks Fiona :o)

  53. Perfectly written, totally parenting!

  54. Thank you πŸ™‚ It can be really hard to see the humorous side of parenting when you’re in the thick of it, but it’s good to try!

  55. So true… Especially the last line!

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