what class am i
Unsugar Coated Motherhood

Dude, where’s my libido?!

Years ago, when she was still Mick Jagger’s wife, I read an interview with Jerry Hall. She stated that in order to keep a man happy and satisfied with only one woman she needed to be a “maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen, and whore in the bedroom”. This made perfect sense to me, even though I could have only been a teenager at the time.

I met my hubby when I was 24, and travelling alone. We ended up drinking at the same beach bar, hit it off immediately and partied all night. I teased him terribly for the first year or so, proclaiming otherwise, but it really was love at first sight. He is a year younger than me, and was also travelling alone. He’d missed out on the post uni expeditions most of his friends went on as had to go back home and work for 18 months in order to save up to go away. His travels had started about four months previous, and had been pretty wild at points, but by the time we met he was more than ready for a companion. Like me he’d not had many relationships of any significance. He’s definitely what most would call good looking but more importantly he is an incredibly grounded stable person, which (on a primal level) is what I think attracted me to him.

I knew I had a keeper in my midst and took Jerry’s advice. I love food and cooking, so that box was ticked. I’m not a fan of housework (who is?!) but that’s fairly straight forward. As for bedroom antics, years of being a singleton had definitely put me in good stead. In those early days, my hubby and I loved having sex. Looking back, we’d often manage to squeeze in a quickie at inappropriate times and places, sometimes resulting in disaster, but always having loads of fun. Unfortunately between totally going off it when I was pregnant first time round, breastfeeding and sheer exhaustion, we didn’t get back on the horse as it were until 4yo was ten months. Even then it was very sporadic, and wasn’t until we were properly trying for another baby that we upped the game. We tried to make more of an effort second time round, and on the odd occasion we managed to it was a good quality romp, but with life being as busy as it is (and having a child that doesn’t bloody sleep) I can count on one hand how many times we’ve actually had sex this year.

Fortunately for me, my other half keeps himself busy with fitness, work and studying and isn’t constantly pestering me. Sometimes it’s actually the other way round. I used to get upset and think this was a sign that our marriage was going to pot, but I don’t anymore. A pop quiz amongst friends told me this was quite normal for most couples. I really hope to get things back on track in the latter half of this year though, I miss being intimate no matter how tired I am.

For poor old Jerry it wasn’t enough anyway to hold onto her rolling stone, but luckily mine isn’t a rock star, and I’d like to think he doesn’t have plans to look elsewhere or hit the road.

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7 Comments

  1. Yeh, so I think my husband thinks he’s a rockstar… and dude, where IS my libido?!!

    Actually, ovulation does some weird stuff to me, but that stuff really shouldn’t be discussed on here. It is shocking! xx

  2. […] I originally took some pointers on how to make a relationship work from Jerry Hall, I think it’s safe to say that you need more than sex, drugs and rock & roll to make a […]

  3. […] You Took For Granted Before Having Children? The list is long but here’s my Top 5: – sleep – sex – social life – travelling – the house staying tidy for longer than five minutes after being […]

  4. […] I’ve mentioned before my hubby and I met while we were travelling. We spent our first two years together flitting back […]

  5. […] I wrote this post I got rather upset about hubby and my lack of love life. Over the bank holiday weekend we had […]

  6. Thanks Laura! It’s good to know we are not alone on these matters, I’m sure every parent on the planet feels the same and is going through this kind of stuff. You’re right though, it’s important to remember we’re partners as well as mummy’s.

    I’m loving the blog hop, will definitely link up again. Have a lovely week xxx

  7. Love this post hun. I can relate to the post kids sex 100% Cameron does not sleep through the night still. Mainly because of his eczema. I am also always bloody exhausted. I do think it is important to keep a healthy sex life and remember that I am not just a Mum I am a partner.

    Thank you for linking up with The Weekend Blog Hop

    Hope you can join us again on Saturday

    Laura x x x

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