When Mother’s Day isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

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my beautiful flowers and home made card

 As I mentioned in my last post, we’ve all been under the weather with another virus this week, and we’re still not 100%. Just as one family member has looked like they are on the up, another will come down with new symptoms. Stealing a phrase from my lovely friend Mel, it really is the bug that keeps on giving.

I went to bed at 8:45pm last night, shivering cold whilst burning up, nose so blocked I could hardly breathe. I was desperate for some sleep, but it wasn’t to be. At 10pm 3yo screamed out because she needed the toilet, and she was awake again at 1am. Literally screaming the house down for no apparent reason. Hubby tried going to her but she wanted me, so I brought her into our bedroom, calmed her down without her waking anyone else up (thankfully), then put her back to bed.

When the baby started crying for milk it felt as if only a few minutes had passed, but in actual fact it was around 5am. I fed him until he was happy enough to go back to sleep, then crawled into bed. By now it was a few minutes to six. At twenty past the girls woke up for the day, and although hubby tried his hardest to give me a lie-in, he was up against it with 3yo screaming ‘I want mummy’ at the top of her voice.

Credit where it’s due, Hubby really tried to make the day special. He had gone out on Saturday to buy me the gorgeous flowers in the photo above, and also picked up breakfast treats to make my favourite – smoked salmon, prawns and eggs which was delicious. The girls had made me the fab card, and were excited first thing. We had planned to go out, but with the whole family recovering from the bug, going out in the pouring rain was the last thing anyone was up for.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that my life is blessed for having these wonderful people in it. In a nutshell though my day was long and hard – there was no putting my feet up and being spoilt rotten. My children are young and demanding, their needs are immediate and always come top of the list, regardless of what day it is. I’m genuinely ok with this, having made my peace with the situation on my first Mother’s Day when my eldest was 8mo and had been up half the night.

Does she have a point?

As I sit here feeding the baby while the girls eat tea, psyching myself up for the witching hour, I’m struck by how bombarded we are of the illusion of other people living perfect lives. My social media feeds were filled with glimpses of breakfast in bed, pressies and cards, pub lunches and steak dinners to be cooked by the husbands.

So my point is that I want to give out a little cheer to all the mums who had a crap nights sleep, or 5am start. The mums who don’t have a mum of their own in their life to share this day with. The mums who ended up in soft play hell with the masses, or had a disastrous over priced lunch out resulting in a massive meltdown. To all the mums who were guiltily counting down the minutes until bedtime from midday. Here’s to the mums who have held it all together and survived another day.

Mums, I salute you!

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they are hard work, but worth every second πŸ™‚

43 Replies to “When Mother’s Day isn’t all it’s cracked up to be”

  1. Amazig post !
    My Hubby can understand me. I am proud for my hubby. When my mode is not well he also gift me some flowers like your hubby.
    Great thanks for this valuable post dear.
    Love your blog !

  2. Great post !
    Love your blog .

  3. Thanks Denise, fingers crossed that’s it for germs!!

  4. Good call, Renee. It is definitely silly to put yourself under pressure on a day that’s intended to be about you, even if it doesn’t work out in practice! Hoping for a better day next year, and less sickness throughout this year as the weather warms up.

  5. mummytries says:

    Oh hon, sorry to hear that your own day was pants too. Hopefully you’ve recovered now (sorry about the late comment reply) and fingers crossed that we all fare up better in the Mother’s Day department next year xxx

  6. mummytries says:

    Thankfully everyone is well again now, woohoo, makes all the difference!

  7. mummytries says:

    A nap sounds like the BEST mothers day pressie ever, how blissful xx

  8. mummytries says:

    Ahhhh the good old witching hour, a delightful time of day regardless of the special occasion πŸ˜‰

  9. mummytries says:

    So much to answer for! I loved your post on keeping expectations realistic, sums it all up for me. There is only so much you can expect when the kids are so small x x

  10. mummytries says:

    I hope your day this year is an improvement on last year’s effort hon!!

  11. mummytries says:

    When you have kids as young as ours it’s totally unrealistic to expect to be able to put our feet up… in the years to come though, when they’re older, I’m sure we’ll get our turn to relax πŸ™‚

  12. […] When Mother’s Day isn’t all it’s cracked up to be looks beyond the illusion of the romanticised view of Mother’s Day that seems to inundate our social media feeds but so few of us actually achieve. For many of us the reality is very different but there is solace in the knowledge that we are not alone – not by a long chalk. […]

  13. mummytries says:

    Definitely won’t last forever, but on the bad days where everyone is sick and we haven’t slept, it can be tough to get perspective.

    Totally with you on counting the lucky stars though, because on the hardest days I’d never want another life. Must be awful for the widows, and funnily enough I always text my friend whose mum died of breast cancer a few years back, which she really appreciates.

    Next year I reckon we might fare up a bit better πŸ˜‰ xxx and yes, def one of your tribe!

  14. mummytries says:

    It really is Jenny, although I hope you fare up better in May πŸ™‚

  15. mummytries says:

    Just about on the mend, thanks Carol xx

  16. mummytries says:

    Thanks so much for your kind words. Sleep (or lack of it!) is definitely most mum’s nemesis, destroys everything doesn’t it. Hope you get more Zzzzs soon lovely xxx

  17. mummytries says:

    Thanks honey, and sorry you didn’t have a great time either. We’re just about on the mend thankfully! Ah well, there’s always next year xxx

  18. mummytries says:

    Thanks for popping by! We’re finally on the mend thank goodness. Glad you still managed to have a lovely day πŸ™‚

  19. Ahh Renee what a nice piece. I’m afraid I was one of those mums too. You must be worn out you poor thing. Make sure you’re taking good care of yourself. That man of yours sounds amazing πŸ™‚ and your flowers and card are beautiful. Hope you;re all fighting fit again soon! xxx

  20. Bless you. Blooming bugs. YOu are so right. Social media is a load of rubbish sometimes. I had a lovely day but it was hard work taking my Mum and my 18 month old to Bella Italia! She just wanted to run around. We had been up in the night too so were so tired. A post like this is what we need to keep it real. xxx #thetruthabout

  21. Blimey Renee. And when all you wanted/needed to do was curl up and sweat it out πŸ™ Hope you’re feeling better soon x

  22. Beautiful post. It’s just one day, and probably will not be the best one of the year. πŸ™‚ So just go with it.

    Thanks for the heads up, Mother’s Day in the US isn’t until May.

    #thetruthabout

  23. I always really feel a bit of dread with regards dates like Valentines and Mother’s Day – I just know for a fact that the social media feeds will be chock a block with images of other peoples amazing stuff. Gits! πŸ˜‰ Seriously though, it *does* affect how you feel about your life – even if you manage to get some perspective back eventually. I do also have to send thoughts out to widows/widowers on Valentines and people who’s mums are not in their lives on mother’s Day. I was lucky enough to be able to spend part of Mother’s Day with my own mum (who also cooked us lunch!) so I know that I am very, very lucky. You are in a really tough place right now – I think even without the illness, the sleep issues would try a saint. The good thing about this is that you know it won’t last forever. Thanks so much for linking up with #thetruthabout hon X (you’re definitely part of my ‘tribe’ πŸ™‚ Xx)

  24. Thank you for sharing this – I am sorry that your Mother’s Day was long and hard. Mine was quite tiring – we are still just getting over bugs and in the grumpy, not-quite-well stage and having lots of disturbed nights so it wasn’t exactly the perfect put-your-feet-up relaxing day I had hoped for either! Sophie is still a bit under the weather and when she isn’t quite well, only mummy will do. It is nice to be so loved and needed but a bit more sleep would also be good! Hope you are all recovered soon and get some rest x

  25. I love this! Mother’s Day really is just another day. My first mother’s day my little one was only a few months old and I remember feeling SO let down. This year I’m aiming for a day off when Mother’s Day rolls around!

    Side note: I didn’t know that Mother’s Day fell on a different date in the UK than it does in the US until yesterday. The more you know πŸ™‚

    #thetruthabout

  26. Here, here Renee! I think social media has a LOT to answer for on days like these. The truth is, we only hear from those who were spoilt rotten – we need to share a few more doses of reality! x

  27. I’ve lowered my expectations from Mothers day after a few crap ones, it’s the only way to avoid being disappointed. no special title for the day will stop my teenager having a strop because its time to come off the xbox or the baby doing his usual bedtime witching hour thing! #thetruth

  28. You’re so right. I cried on Mother’s Day (to myself) because hubster hadn’t tried and the kids are too young to do anything themselves but at the end if the day my kids are the most important thing.
    Saying that, I did lay the guilt on and got a Mother’s Day nap. Yay me.
    In hindsight, the nap was the best thing I could have wished for. I just wish I could have one every day πŸ™‚

  29. Oh hon, big virtual cuddles to you. I am one of the mums that had a terrible day. I went out the night before, and was promised a lie-in and a day of rest the next day. However, none of that materialised, and after a couple of hours sleep, I was up with the kids, with a hangover added to the mix. I got no card from the kids, no cuppa, no ‘happy mother’s day’ from from my husband. I went over to my parent’s house and began to feel progressively more hurt and upset (no doubt exacerbated by my less-than-optimum state) and ended up leaving their house in tears. I later came down with some sort of virus that night, and awoke this morning feeling pretty rubbish.

    Sounds like you have an absolute gem of a husband there! One day soon when you’re all feeling less under-the-weather, maybe have another mother’s day that allows you a bit of well-deserved rest! xxx

  30. Oh no, it’s not good that you are all still under the weather, sounds like you had an exhausting Mother’s Day, I hope you managed to get a bit of rest over the next few days.

  31. So sorry you’ve all been feeling under the weather. Hopefully this week is a better one. I spent the day with a grumpy toddler and decided to cook a chicken dinner for the first time in ages so I didn’t get a rest either but I still had a lovely day with my girl. I don’t think Mother’s Day needs to be any different to any other day really. I’m just happy knowing my little one appreciates me, even if I did have to lie awake all night while she slept on MY side of the bed!

  32. mummytries says:

    Sorry to hear that hon, but I’m pleased the afternoon perked up πŸ™‚

  33. mummytries says:

    He’s a good’un that hubby of mine. Are the sickness bugs getting worse, or does it just feel that way the more people there are to get over them? πŸ˜‰

  34. So sorry you’re still not back to feeling like yourself yet. It’s really tough when you’re not well and have young children. If it’s any consolation yesterday morning was a shocker here… Much better in the afternoon but still nothing compared to the Instagram feeds I saw yesterday πŸ™‚

  35. mummytries says:

    That’s exactly where my line of thinking is lovely… In a couple of years time we’ll be the ones making everyone else vom! Hugs lovely xx

  36. mummytries says:

    Sorry yours wasn’t great either hon! But yay for the cards and tacky jewellery xx

  37. mummytries says:

    Oh wow…there are no words for that! Hugs xx

  38. mummytries says:

    Thanks for your kind words hon, they mean a lot. Being ill whilst taking care of ill children must be one of the hardest parts of motherhood. Allergies aside, we are usually such a healthy family. Unfortunately with our sleep quality being as bad as it is, once the immune system becomes compromised it’s hard to get back to 100%. Hopefully the weather will properly cheer up soon, sunshine always helps xxx

  39. Sorry to hear this and you are so right, the pressure is ridiculous, the only down side to celebratory days is not everyone can or is happy, people have lost parents or don’t have great mothers in their lives or are struggling. Yesterday was a relaxing day but pretty normal compared to most Sundays. Yes it was lovely to receive handmade cards and to feel loved but I’m lucky I feel like that most of the time and if like you, my kids were ill, the last thing I’d want is to do anything particularly special. You are right, motherhood is everyday and some days can be flipping tough. Much love xx

  40. Arrr so true *enormous sigh*… Mine sucked. Had nothing to do with me. And ended in a row, and me eating a kebab in the bath. #truestory lol

  41. I’m with you! I ended up cooking us all a spag bol whilst the young one pulled at my ankles & the husband hoovered the car. However I did live my crappy/ tacky pen braclet the boy bought me from his schools Mother’s Day sale xx

  42. Here here Renee!! I had a quick look at FB whilst at work today and it was only quick as I couldn’t stand the vomit inducing Mothers Day posts for any longer than a minute. (I’m probably just jealous!!) I console myself with the fact that maybe one day when they’re older I’ll get a bit spoilt on Mothers day!! x

  43. So sorry that you didn’t get a Mother’s Day that every mother deserves. πŸ™ The sickie crud has been a nasty one this year and making it’s rounds since Christmas time around here. Hope everyone gets well soon and kudos to the hubby for at least trying to make your day better.

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